Roger Rollins

Roger Rollins

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” — Edgar Allan Poe

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” — Bible (Genesis 2:24)

Encyclopædia Britannica defines marriage as: legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring (if any).

The turmoil in our society today is frightening. We all want an end to the unrest and chaos that seems to be everywhere. There is great uncertainty in what that end will look like and what will get us there.

Right now most people aren’t interested in finding the root cause of the problem. In fact, we don’t even have the problem well defined. We say it’s racism, or socialism, or capitalism or any of the other -ism’s. We just want things fixed, whatever that “fixed” state might look like.

Today’s debate needs to focus back on the root cause as defined in the one source of the Truth. That Truth is identified, and characteristics are outlined, in the Bible. The Bible is not another how-to text book or law book. It points us to the Truth. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life" (John 14:6). Society today has many definitions of the “truth,” which in itself is very strange. If there is more than one truth, then what is truth?

Dallas Willard, in his book "Renovation of the Heart," says “Individual desire has come to be the standard and rule of everything.” I think we are seeing that today. People want what they think is best for them, by their own definition, and they are willing to go to any length to obtain it, and that desire eclipses the rights of others.

In the very beginning God brought a man and a woman together and said they were to become one. Satan came along and drove them apart, with the man and the woman placing the blame for the failure of the relationship on someone else. That’s where we are in society today. The search is constantly for someone to blame. The news media have their opinions, as do the various political factions. Even the church has varying opinions of where to place the blame.

Quoting Dallas Willard again: “To heal the open sore of social existence, there is no doubt we must start with the marriage relationship – or, more inclusively, with how men and women are together in our world. If that relationship is wrong in its many dimensions, all who come through it will be seriously damaged. And they will be further damaged by a surrounding world of similarly damaged people, who are trying to manage their ways of being together on the assumption that assault and withdrawal are just ‘the facts of life.’…

“To be married is to give oneself to another person in the most intimate and inclusive of human relationships, to support him or her for good in every way possible – physically, emotionally and spiritually, of course, but in every conceivable dimension of his or her being…. The ‘mutual submission to each other in awe of the Lord,’ (from traditional marriage vows) which is also the vision of marriage in Christ, eliminates both assault and withdrawal from this most basic of human relationships. Thereby it provides the matrix or womb from which (in God’s plan) whole human beings can emerge to form whole human communities, under God.”

God has designed His creation to function in a certain fashion, and when we deviate from that design, the consequences can be devastating. There are those who deny the existence of God or at least His involvement in our lives. But denying the Truth doesn’t make it go away.

Bishop Fulton Sheen wrote a book titled “Three to Get Married.” He concludes that the home, functioning through the power of God on Earth, can break up the deadly destruction now occurring over the entire social dimension of the human self.

Roger Rollins is the executive director of The Family and Marriage Coalition of Aiken, Inc. Contact him at 803-640-4689, or