Do you ever feel as though life is out of control? Too much is happening too fast? Change has come, but it’s not always to your liking?
I’m a charter member of that club.
Earlier this week I had a dream that I was driving my SUV to work. Of course, I’ve been retired for more than a dozen years, so that didn’t exactly compute. And the house I was leaving is not the one we currently reside in. But those are minor issues in a dream.
I slowly backed out of the driveway into the street. Then I put the car into Drive and stepped gently on the gas pedal. But instead of going forward, the car started accelerating in the opposite direction. Quickly checking, I saw that I was in the proper gear, yet the car continued its backward motion.
Reflexively I lifted my foot off the gas pedal and hit the brake. The car continued going backward. I pressed harder on the brake pedal, but to no avail. The car did not slow down as it backed down the street, and I steered feverishly to avoid traffic coming my way. It was an exhausting dream, but one that illustrated to me how out-of-control the world seems.
Today our oldest grandson is graduating from the University of South Carolina. That is a wonderful thing, but just another sign of how quickly time is going by. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was tossing a football to him in the front yard on his Friday afternoons and evenings with us? As much as we would like, there is no slowing the incessant march of time and with it, change.
Change is going to happen. For younger folks, it can’t happen fast enough. For us of a rather older vintage, however, what’s the hurry? Let’s just leave things as they are a bit longer. That’s what we are used to and the way it’s always been, so why change and why now?
Old businesses that have been well established closed their doors, replaced by new ones self-described as being better. The older essential stores of downtown Aiken were replaced by trendy boutiques. Diners of old have shuttered, in their place restaurants whose menu entrees I am unable to pronounce. Change.
My life-long church voted to separate from the denomination of which we are a part. Change.
Reading the daily Aiken Standard has been a first-thing-in-the-morning joy for more years than I care to count. That too has changed and is changing even more. This newspaper now prints just five days a week, and the morning delivery will be replaced next month by the paper being mailed out. My mail arrives late in the afternoon. Change.
There was a time when I knew a lot of the movers and shakers in town. It was part of the job I had, and it was nice being on the inside track when advances were made. Now many of those people have moved on and stopped their shaking. Not only do I not know the present-day strategic people in our community, their names are new to me as well.
This is not a knock on change. Change is inevitable and will continue as long as there are people willing to look ahead. The changes of today will be tomorrow’s old news, and something else will come along to take their place. Some changes will be good, others not so much. Time will tell.
And it is time that is not on my side. I’m sliding down the back side of the mountain of life, rolling through my winter years toward an undetermined expiration date. While I still want to be in control over some things, more often it seems that I put the car in Drive only to have it go in Reverse. I push hard on the brake pedal, but the car won’t slow down.
As I take the 200-mile view from above, it is easier to see that this is the way things have been for eons. People are born, grow into adulthood, make contributions and then pass the baton to the next generation. So rather than being disheartened over the passage of time and the changes that come with it, I am trying to embrace what a younger crop of people is planning for Aiken’s future.
I hope their car moves forward in Drive and stops when they hit the brake pedal.
