Phragments from Phyllis -- Anticipating a severe change
My friend Susan recently spent several days in the Dominican Republic in preparation for a permanent move later in the summer. She and her son Ernie went down to look for a home for Susan and to chat with the head of the school where Susan is planning to teach.
I continue to be more than ambivalent about my friend's decision to pick up her life and essentially start over in a new land -- a land that certainly has its problems and that definitely doesn't have all the amenities of home.
The good news, I guess, is that you can apparently buy a great deal more for your money there than here. Susan found the perfect house -- a penthouse condo, actually. It has a panoramic view of the ocean. In addition, the condo actually overlooks the playground of the school where Susan will be teaching. She wouldn't need a car. She would have a terrace complete with Jacuzzi. She could actually sit outside at home and watch the students, if she wanted -- but only if she can yell really loud. It is a penthouse, after all.
Of course, buying a house in the Dominican Republic is a bit different from doing the same thing here. There is no such thing as a sale contingent on the sale of your house. So Susan is now hot to sell her home here in order to be able to put money on the home in the Dominican Republic. There is no way that anyone will "hold" a home and this wonderful home is on the market NOW.
She came home with a renewed vigor directed at getting her home ready to sell so that she can buy this dream home. And she came home with a new insight into what makes her happy. She quickly pointed out she is sure she will be thrilled -- no, content and comfortable and fulfilled -- with the job at the school. She can make a difference. That much I'm sure of as well. When she was a teacher at Mead Hall, she was one of those teachers that students honored years later as the one who made inspired them to greatness. She has a way of teaching that inspires students to want more, to do their absolute best, to toe the mark and have fun doing so, to follow the rules while thinking creatively, to love learning and to want more, to expect more and work to get it, to accept nothing but the best from themselves and from others. And through it all, her students always loved her fiercely. She has what I have always referred to as that "teacher voice," but her stern demeanor never intimidated her students -- except in a good way. Her classes were always disciplined. When Jim Martin was the headmaster at Mead Hall, he and Susan had a running joke when parents were coming to observe -- "Do you want 'The Sound of Music'?" she'd ask of the "performance" her class would be expected to do. Only it wasn't a performance. It was the normal way the class ran on any given day. There was no need for a show. Her class was incredible to watch on any day. The students were learning by leaps and bounds and loving every minute of it.
So job is not a concern. But Susan came home with another realization. She needs to have a home that makes her happy. Her home here has always been lovely.
When she thinks her house is a mess, I'm still trying to figure out how much I'd have to do to get mine to look that good. And, like most of us, she has certain things in her home that are very important to her.
So now, if she doesn't get the home she has her heart set on in the Dominican Republic, I can selfishly pray that it will be enough to keep her here. Or I can hope that, for the sake of children who deserve her, that someone equally as wonderful comes along.
I am, obviously, conflicted. I want my friend to be happy. But I don't like the distance that will separate us.
