By PHYLLIS BRITT

Dr. Gary Redding, speaking at last week's Business, By the Book, admitted it is a challenge in the modern world to "determine whom we can help, how we can help them and how long we should help."

He warned, "You can't do everything for everybody." He suggested that everyone is limited in what they can do and the extent to which they can do it.

And he queried, "When does help cross the line into being a problem?"

Acknowledging he gets letters every day asking for help, he related one recent incident in which a young man appeared on his doorstep to ask for diapers for his baby. It was late -- after 10 p.m. -- and Mrs. Redding reminded her husband that opening the door at that hour to a stranger might not be the best move. So Redding asked the young man to come to his office the next morning.

"I was torn ... Was it a scam or a legitimate request?" he said, admitting he struggled with his response in those situations. (In this case the young man did not show up.) He referenced Galatians 6, verses 2 and 5 ... Carry each other's burdens ... Each one should carry his own load.

The pastor admitted the two verses seem in some ways contradictory; however, he said, "You've got to be discriminating ... Sometimes the best help is to help a person stand on his own two feet."

He used an analogy of a backpack, suggesting everyone has one to carry -- some are small, some medium sized and some really big -- and they all include a person's responsibilities to God. "Sometimes help is taking some of those things out of the backpack," he said, "and sometimes you have to just say, 'I love you' ... but it's your backpack and you must carry it.'"

He reminded the gathering, "Most of you got to where you are because someone showed you how to carry your own load."