Halloween takes on a whole new meaning this year.

First of all, Cade has really begun to understand the things associated with Halloween -- some of which he's just not too sure about.

Second, my daughter is getting married on this Halloween and while we're not playing up the theme, there are certain things that are definitely going to be "Halloweeny." We're having a "candy bar" at the wedding, we're using lots of pumpkins in the decor -- and Liz is still joking that Cade needs to be her "ring bear." (No, that is not a typo. She wants him in a bear costume carrying the ring pillow.)

Meanwhile, Cade has, historically been pretty much terrified of spiders, so Halloween is proving to be something of a challenge. He has always loved to sing "Itsy, Bitsy Spider," but when confronted with even an image he would say, "Scare me." (Now he's graduated to "It scare me.") We have a giant, soft-sided activity cube that has a variety of things on it -- a bus with wheels you can turn and sing "The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round," a barn with all the "Old MacDonald" animals in it (which we can point to as we sing) and a lift-up flap that reveals a stuffed "Itsy Bitsy Spider" which vibrates when you pull it out and let it go back "up the water spout." For the longest time, Cade would jump away from the spider and repeat, "Scare me." He eventually graduated to hitting the spider as it vibrated and running away. Then his favorite breakfast spot added Halloween decorations, which included a giant blow-up skeleton holding a string with, you guessed it, a giant spider, plus a Frankenstein blow-up holding not one, but two giant spiders. The first time we went in, the skeleton was standing between Cade and a little play area in the restaurant that holds his favorite things -- a giant chalkboard and chalk and a puzzle with a football piece that he can hold while running and making a touchdown. He was not afraid of the skeleton. He was not afraid of the Frankenstein. But the spiders gave him pause. Fortunately, the lure of the chalk and the football won out over his fear and he now runs past the spider without a second thought.

Of course, we've already gone through the "ghost" phobia. Long ago, a friend of mine inadvertently mentioned something about a ghost in the living room. And ever since, Cade will look into the dark space from the den and say, "Ghost scare me."

Now I'm working on getting him past his fear of the Halloween bowl at work with the skeleton hand inside it. I'm sure you've seen them. The hand reaches down and touches yours as you reach for a piece of candy in the bowl with an intonement of "Trick-or-Treat" or "Happy Halloween." Cade is now terrified of that, as well (although when the hand is turned off, he can be persuaded to reach in for candy.)

Our biggest problem at the wedding may be the Halloween things he likes. We're lining the aisles with pumpkins and pumpkins are definitely on Cade's "want" list. The pumpkins are currently on my dining room table (20 of them, thanks to St. Bart's Pumpkin Patch). I can see Cade racing down the aisle in his "ring bear" costume, grabbing at the pumpkins as he intones, "my pun-kins."

Luckily, his Auntie Liz adores him and even the nervous bride will think it's cute instead of being horrified that he's disrupting the wedding.

Wish me luck on that.

Perhaps the best news for me is that next Sunday is my birthday and I should be able to wake up knowing that I don't have to do anything that day. Liz and Vince will be on their way to Greece. Mac and Cat and Scott and Cade are planning brunch for me -- and for any family members still here. That should be fun.

And except for the fact that press day will be looming, I can begin to relax for the first time since all of this wedding business began -- with Cat in July a year ago.

Oh, but wait, there's a baby coming -- and now it looks like she may arrive before Christmas and there's still a nursery to get ready ... Well, I can relax for a day or two ... maybe.