When the going gets tough ...

I know all of you reading the above quotation can finish it, but just in case, it's "the tough get going." Now what does that mean? Is it just some macho term heard only in locker rooms at halftime, or is it something coined by people, down through the ages, who have faced difficult and trying times in their lives and have looked adversity in the eye and, as a result, came out on top. "Looked adversity in the eye" is the operative phrase. When trouble rears its ugly head in our lives, how we handle it is a sure sign of our character or perhaps lack of it. No matter the nature or form the trouble takes, we will be the lesser person if we turn our backs and pretend it does not exist, or the worst reaction of all, try to put the blame on someone else.

I have no way of knowing what kind of trouble you have faced in your lives, but I am sure it runs the full menu, and isn't it interesting that what is trouble for someone may be no problem at all for another who would gladly tell you, "Please swap with me; you don't know what trouble is." That may not make you feel any better, but you get the point: There is always a bigger problem than the one you are personally facing .

So, how do you handle it? Do, you make everyone around you miserable, do you wear a beaten-down expression, a "woe is me" attitude, or do you look at this as a growing experience. Do the best you can to eradicate the problem and put a smile on your face. Some of you are thinking about now, "Oh, that sounds good but you just don't know what is happening to me."

I certainly do not, but I will make a small wager with you: When you conquer this particular demon, you will be a stronger and better person, and you will have put yourself into the great position of becoming a wonderful help to any of your friends who are facing difficulty in the future.

Let me tell you something that I witnessed while in college that has been a life long lesson to me. I came out of North Augusta High School as a much sought-after high school All America football player with a ton of college offers. There was a young man, Tommy Lewis, on the very same path from Atlanta. He was a high school All America, he had many, many, college scholarship offers. Before either of us decided which college we would attend, the college recruiters would tell me, "If you are thinking about going to Georgia, you better spend some time rethinking that, because Tommy Lewis is planning to go there. I sort of looked at that as a challenge, and I did not know until I met Tommy (yes, he signed with UGA) that the recruiters were telling him the same thing: Charley is going to UGA, so don't go there.

That apparently did not scare either of us. What I want to point out to you is how Tommy handled his adversity. I won the quarterback job, and Tommy had only a little playing time. Then the next year, Fran Tarkington and I shared the job, and Tommy had no time as a quarterback. Here was a boy who had come to college with glowing credentials sitting on the bench while our team won the SEC championship and the Orange Bowl. Did Tommy get depressed, did he mope about, did he think of transferring to another university? Quite the opposite, Tommy excelled in every part of his college experience.

He practiced hard every day. He was the biggest booster for Fran and me, and he also became the cadet colonel of the Air Force ROTC program. After a stint in the Air Force, he became and is a pilot for Delta Airlines. What will I remember most about Tommy? Fran and I were standing together as the last seconds ticked off the clock when we beat Auburn for the championship, and Fran said to me, "Charley, look at Tommy." And there he was, standing on top of the table where the phones were, hands raised over his head, yelling, "We are the champions." Fran said, "If that was you or me, we could not do that."

Fran was right. We probably would have transferred. But I will tell you this, Tommy taught me a lesson I never forgot on how to handle life's disappointments. I know this is a mild example, but take it to heart.