Dear Scott: I need help with what to do about my best friend and my hairstylist. We both have been going to the same person for years. We loved our hair, and we both loved her.

They had an argument, and my friend decided to go to someone else. Now she is trying to talk me into going to her new stylist.

Every time I get my hair done she says something is wrong. She points to a piece of my hair and says the color looks funny.

She criticizes how it’s cut and finds a piece that looks longer or she says, “Oh, I see you got your hair done.”

I love my hair, but I find myself looking at the things she says and obsessing about it.

When I go back into the salon and ask to fix the things that are wrong, she tries, but then my friend says it’s still not right.

I love the woman who does my hair and want to be a loyal client and not change stylists.

How do I get my friend to leave me alone about this? I’ve asked her to stop commenting on my hair and she won’t stop.

Do I have to switch to her stylist just to make her leave me alone about this?

Answer: If this is a really good friend of yours and you value the friendship, probably.

That you both liked your hair before your friend had the argument is the answer to the question.

This scenario is more common than you might think. Dissatisfaction of product is rarely why a stylist loses a regular client.

Eighty-six percent of all clients leave a hairdresser for some other reason than simply not liking their hair.

A missed appointment, conversation gone wrong, personality conflict, relocation, boredom, are just to name a few.

Every hairdo can be picked apart. It is a freeform moving work of art with multiple color variations.

This is not a question about quality. More one of loyalty.

Some people might tell you to stand up for yourself. That you should take control of the situation and tell your friend to leave you alone.

I would be one of them, but it sounds like you already tried that.

Even though you are basically going into an establishment to buy something, the personal interaction between client and hairdresser becomes something more.

The hairdresser becomes a confidant and friend of the client more so than any other professional person. So it has turned into a fight between friends.

You don’t say what the fight was about. Maybe you can work as a liaison between your fiend and stylist to help them through this time of conflict.

If that doesn’t work, you will drive yourself and your hairdresser crazy if you don’t make some kind of change.

You visit the hairdresser for a service.

If choosing between the two, loyalty to your best friend is most important.

Scott Terwilliger is an Aiken salon owner. He can be reached at for questions or comments.