Bidding farewell to a gracious Southern lady 6/14/2009 12:32 AM By KATHY URBAN HUFF Guest columnist
She was taller than most of her contemporaries, or perhaps it was her slenderness that added to that impression. Regardless, in every way, Aurie Gosnell was larger than life.
She never entered a room, she swept into it and then commanded attention. Her voice was high and musical, always friendly but could drop to a lower octave in conspiratorial whispers, then break out into cackles over her shared confidence or short joke. She also had a way with a raised eyebrow that spoke volumes.
She was always interested in us - no, make that fascinated with us. "Sit down, sit down - now just move that off - tell me what y'all are doin'." And even if what we were doing was blander than cream of wheat, she was enthralled in the subject and our telling of it, demanding more and more details, delighting in our stories and plans.
Her daughter Resel was one of my close friends, and I was fortunate enough to be in that inner circle selected by Mrs. Gosnell to be schooled in the finer arts of growing up properly. We lucky ones learned to play bridge on their back porch; we practiced walking - "No, no, shoulders back, chin up, hips tucked under, feet one in front of the other." We practiced our table manners at luncheons with chicken salad on card tables set with the proper alignment of forks, knives and spoons. In other words, Aurie Gosnell taught us how to be young ladies.
In those days, the Aiken Community Playhouse performed several plays a year in the auditorium at Aiken Junior High School, then located at the northwest corner of Laurens Street and Barnwell Avenue and now occupied by Trinity Lutheran Home. Mrs. Gosnell was in charge of the ushers at those events. Resel and her friends, I among them, were tapped to be the "usherettes" at these plays, a wonderful opportunity to wear our very best semi-formals and get our hair done. The task was simple: greet the playgoers and hand out programs as they entered. Little did we know of Mrs. Gosnell's secret purpose for her young teenage cadre of usherettes: to teach us how to meet and greet strangers graciously while becoming part of a community event.
It took years, far into adulthood, before I realized that Mrs. Gosnell actually had a job. Her availability to us was instant and loving whenever we entered the house. From her bedroom, she could hear us enter the back door and would beguile us into her presence with insistent cries, "Come on back, come on back! Y'all come back here!"
Even today, my mental snapshot is of her sitting up in bed wearing a lovely bed jacket, in perfect makeup and hairdo, with at least 20 stacks of paper all over the bedspread. I never questioned those papers then, probably relegating them to the mysterious realm of adult concerns uninteresting to teenagers. That bedroom was her office, and those stacks of papers related to her quite prestigious work as a national consultant in the cosmetology industry.
She was so well regarded in that field that the National-Interstate Council of State Boards and Cosmetology named its highest award in her honor, the Aurie J. Gosnell Award.
Luckily, even though I was oblivious at the time, Mrs. Gosnell's business acumen was not lost on Resel, who broke the glass ceiling in Columbia to become the highest placed female banker of her time.
All was not just ladylike education at the Gosnell home, located at the corner of Whiskey Road and Grace Avenue, where the "horse light" signals safe passage for riders to cross the street.
Resel became a premiere swimmer on the Fermata Club Swim Team, winning a wall full of medals in breaststroke and butterfly. Mrs. Gosnell was her chief fan and cheered her on excitedly with wild gestures and cries, often to the hilarity of bystanders.
The last time I saw Mrs. Gosnell was in November. Characteristically, she was fully made up, beautifully dressed, ever the lovely hostess even at her nursing home dining room in Lexington. It is no wonder that I am saddened beyond words to learn that a swift decline in health has claimed her life.
Aurie Gosnell will forever have my gratitude for myriad lessons in social graciousness, but even more so, she lives on in my heart for her boundless vitality and sheer love of life. She is revered by many of us in and around Aiken, and all of us strive to be good examples of her guidance and tutelage. She was my role model in learning to meet and greet people, entertain them and make them feel special. The ongoing challenge of my life since those teen years has always been how to duplicate her warm heart, open arms and generosity of spirit.
Farewell, Mrs. Gosnell. I'll miss you.
The writer is a resident of Aiken.
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