Sean Kennedy would take up for kids who had no friends or were shy or bullied.
He had come out as gay at 17 and, even before that, had often been bullied himself, his mother, Elke Kennedy, said during a speech at USC Aiken on Thursday.
But she didn't know about the bullying until after Sean, 20, was killed by another man in 2007. Kennedy considers the death of her son a hate crime, but South Carolina doesn't recognize hate crime legislation.
Kennedy was invited to USCA by Neil Bridgers, president of the Unity Alliance, a gay/straight organization on campus dedicated to awareness, support and advocacy for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community.
Kennedy and her husband, Jim, the founders of the Sean's Last Wish Foundation, visited the White House and President Barack Obama last month for the signing of federal hate crime prevention legislation, but additional laws at the state level are also needed, she said.
Her son was a great kid who loved music. While in middle school, he would recruit people to the marching band and later served as drum major his junior and senior years. He would often bring people home, in some cases having just met them and discovering they had no place to stay.
Sean was anxious when he told his parents he was gay, and his mom responded, "There's nothing you could do to make me stop loving you."
He knew he was different and had told friends about finding the word "fag" carved on his truck. But he wouldn't live in fear, Kennedy said. He would love himself and live his life and be there for others.
Her son was leaving a Greenville bar about 3:45 a.m. on May 16, 2007. A man got out of a car, approached Sean and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground. He suffered massive brain injuries.
"When I got to the hospital, the doctor told us there was no chance of survival," Kennedy said. "His brain had separated. As the story unfolded, my son had died because somebody hated him for being gay, for being who he was."
She was comforted that 60 people, including many of Sean's friends, stayed near the ICU that day and into the night before he was pronounced brain dead. They told stories of how people had come to rely on Sean and couldn't imagine life without him. When he had received his driver's license, he had signed an organ donor card "and five people are alive today because of Sean," his mother said.
Police arrested Stephen Moller, 18, on murder charges that were later reduced to involuntary manslaughter. He served one year in jail before being released in July. Moller will be on probation for three years.
Kennedy said she had limited contact and got little information at any time with the solicitor's office and the victims' advocate. She is working with other organizations to get state legislation that would recognize hate crimes and would establish a level of criminal charges between murder and manslaughter. Kennedy is distressed by those key elected officials who have opposed this effort.
"The foundation was started to provide education about bullying and intolerance and how they can lead to senseless crimes," she said. "We want to teach about nonviolence and conflict resolution and that everybody has the right for equal protection under the law. In South Carolina, police and solicitors won't have the resources to investigate these kinds of crimes."
Kennedy wants to send a strong message that bullying, hatred and violence have no place in society - not in people's hearts and minds, homes, schools, churches, states and counties. Gay and lesbian teens are at risk. They hear anti-gay slurs, not just in their communities, but often at home, too, Kennedy said. Significant numbers of teens will skip school and even drop out because of harassment.
"There was no justice for Sean," she said. "But there were 750 people at his memorial service, and I found so much caring and compassion in the community. Sean had all these dreams and hopes and there was so much he accomplished in only 20 years. I am proud to be his mother."
Bridgers said Kennedy spent much of last Thursday at the university, talking with students about her son during an HIV-awareness and free testing program on campus sponsored by Unity Alliance. The organization was established at USCA several years ago but had been dormant until Bridgers and other students got involved.
"I'm going to graduate in two weeks, but there is interest in keeping the alliance going," Bridgers said.
Contact Rob Novit at rnovit@aikenstandard.com.
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Comment Title:
Murder is murder. It shouldn't matter if it was done because sex, race, or sexual orientation. It is still a crime.
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Posted by: JW On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 8:10 PM
Comment Title: Hate Crimes? Love Crimes?
Having hate crimes are as stupid as having love crimes. I remember my mother told me how a young black girl punched my 80+ aunt in the face on a dare. Try walking in an all black neighborhood at night if you are white or an all white neighborhood if you are black. Not everyone will attack you. Just that piece of debris who is looking for trouble. Btw, if someone kills you for your money, or because they hate you, who cares. Put them away for life or give them an injection. Why give homosexuals preference when someone kills them. You should do the same to whoever the killer kills. What next? Anyone who kills a pedophile or a rapist or a horse fornicator will get what, an extra dose of lethal injection?
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Posted by: On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 7:25 PM
Comment Title:
Trying to deflect the blame of a violent attack on a human being because of "emotions" someone was feeling is an absurd idea; trying to deflect the seriousness of the situation by connecting it to a ridiculous comment.
The attacker was apparently waiting for someone to be alone, coming out of that bar, at a very late time of night. In other words, the attacker took time to think about what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, and where he might find a victim. There was no robbery reported, so theft was not a motive. Someone went there with the intent of hurting someone else who was gay. This is why this type of attack is classified by law enforcement in other states classify this as a hate crime. The victim was targeted on the basis of some minority status; not because the perpetrator was upset. Not because this poor kid had picked a fight with anyone. Like many African -Americans will tell you, like many Jewish people will tell you, just like many Asian people will tell you, just like many women will tell you, just like many Muslim or Arabic people will tell you; there are people who want to commit acts of violence on other people because of how they look (or are perceived to look) or because of some group they belong to (or are perceived to belong to). Yeah, there are emotions tied up in it, and the emotions are all about hate. You can hate who you want, but when you target and strike out at someone because of that hate, you need to be identified and put away behind bars for a long time because you are acting irrationally, and you are a danger to society as a whole.
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Posted by: Bruce On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 5:57 PM
Comment Title:
Nothing good comes from being punched by a backwoods, chew tobacco, redneck either.
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Posted by: On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 4:28 PM
Comment Title:
What most people fail to understand is that 'hate" is an emotion, just like fear, envy, love, and any other emotion you can name. We don't criminalize, punish, people for their emotions, we punish them for their actions. If you kill someone, what difference does it make what your emotions were at the time? That emotion doesn't change your actions, although it may have triggered them. But, once again, what difference does it make? It doesn't make any difference to the victim, they're just as dead, no matter what the motivation was for the crime. So, instead of punishing people for their actions, we now convict, or acquit, people for their emotions. That, in and of itself, negates the very concept of justice, of law, of holding someone responsible for their actions.
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Posted by: Aiken, SC On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 4:21 PM
Comment Title: Great Job!!
Great Job Neil!!! I can't wait to see the ignorant comments that will be posted on this website... but great job!!
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Posted by: NAB On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 4:01 PM
Comment Title: Response to insensitivity
Comments like the one below (or maybe above) so ignorant and insensitive. Sean was in the wrong place at the wrong time and that is very unfortunate. But that is what you do when you are in your twenties;you stay out late! More than likely you did it a few times when you were that age.
Regardless of whether he should or should not have been out so late that is no excuse for someone to lose a life and a family to suffer like the Kennedy's have.
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Posted by: On: Sunday, November 22, 2009 12:20 PM
Comment Title:
Nothing good comes from hanging out at bars, espicially at 3 am.
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