Aikenite says he is 'losing wife' to Alzheimer's 5/12/2009 12:14 AM
By ROB NOVIT Senior writer
Mike Burgess of Batesburg is seven years younger than his wife Sandra, and she always enjoyed picking on him about that, singing snippets of "Older Women Make Beautiful Lovers" to him.
Still, she's only 53 and on Mother's Day, Sandra Burgess didn't recognize her 18-year-old twin sons. For the first time, she didn't tell Mike she loved him.
Five years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and in 2008, moved into an extended care facility in Lexington.
It's relatively rare for someone at Sandra's age to develop the disease, but overall, the numbers are increasing. By 2050, some 16 million Americans could be affected.
"I look into her eyes now, and I know I'm losing my wife," Burgess told Rotary Club of Aiken members Monday. He appeared at the meeting with Kim Shannon, program manager for the Greenwood/Aiken office of the S.C. Alzheimer's Association Chapter.
Burgess was told by a physician that his wife would fall through the financial cracks, and he was right. It took Burgess about 10 months to get Medicaid and Medicare set up. If the patient is younger than 65, "the government doesn't know what to do with you," Burgess said.
But the emotional toll on Burgess has been even more severe, and on Monday, tears were never far away as he spoke. He maintained his role as caregiver as long as he could, trying to hold on to the memories of a rich and warm married life.
An Aiken County native who grew up near Monetta, Sandra Fallaw Burgess would whack the cover off a softball. In 1988, she earned a black belt in karate. Her husband taught her to fish and hunt, and she avidly enjoyed both.
Sandra was a devout Christian, too, who took overseas mission trips. She taught Sunday School for years; her church kids included three nurses at the extended care facility.
Several years ago "she went to the boys' school to pick them up from baseball practice and drove by the school three times," said Burgess. "Somehow she got home. God was her pilot that day."
A Medical University of South Carolina physician ran tests on Sandra in 2004, and all came back positive for Alzheimer's. She started crying then, pointing out she had gotten it like her mother, who had died of the disease. On the way home, Sandra never said a word, just looked out the window.
Toward the end of 2007, "Sandra would see kids who weren't there and then say they had crawled out the bathroom window," Burgess said. She would hide in the closet or under the table and cry uncontrollably for two or three hours. Burgess had always enjoyed holding hands with Sandra as they walked in public. Now he did so to make sure he didn't lose her.
"My sons and I have been cheated," Burgess said. "I've lost my best friend, and Sandra has been cheated out of the rest of her life. The things we always wanted to do are gone."
He encouraged Rotarians and the community to support the Alzheimer's Association, which provides a helpline, information and referral, caregiver and other support groups and safety and identification programs for patients.
"It's a great cause," said Burgess. "I know. I'm living it day in, day out."
Shannon is based in Greenwood but visits Aiken two days a week. For more information, she can be reached at (864) 943-8895 or (866) 844-0992.
Contact Rob Novit at rnovit@aikenstandard.com.
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Comment Title: Clinical Studies for Alzheimer's
The best chance we have for fighting Alzheimer’s disease are clinical studies that test new treatments. Patients and families affected by Alzheimer’s disease may want to consider participating in a clinical study. One to consider is the ICARA (Bapi) study (www.icarastudy.com). Its goal is to explore if an investigational drug called bapineuzumab can help slow the progression of Alzheimer’s. This study is seeking participants with mild to moderate Alzheimer's and who are between the ages of 50-89.
Posted by: Nelia T. On: 5/12/2009
Comment Title: Father with Alzheimer's
My father also was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease about six years ago. He also has hallucinations. His doctor told us that hallucinations was apart of Alzheimer's disease. I wish more people and organizations would support the Alzheimer's Association.
Posted by: R.N. & P.A. On: 5/12/2009
Comment Title:
Thank you to Mr. Burgess for sharing his family's story. Just one note: Hallucinations of the type described by Mr. Burgess are not the hallmark of Alzheimer's dementia, but ARE frequently associated with another condition called Lewy Body Disease. Both are rare in middle-age people and a correct diagnosis is critical. I hope for more good days than bad for Mr. and Mrs. Burgess on their journey through her illness ...
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