Healthy marriages benefit spouses, children 2/9/2010 12:32 AM By ROGER ROLLINS Columnist
Editor's note: In Aiken, the Family and Marriage Coalition of Aiken Inc. sponsored a Marriage Celebration Feb. 5 and is providing information in the Aiken Standard throughout the week of Feb. 7-14, which is National Marriage Week USA.
"Marriage is more than just a love match. Good relationships involve skills that need to be taught and learned." - Joe Feurherd
"Marriage is not merely a private taste or private relation; it is an important public good. As marriage weakens, the costs are borne not only by individual children and families, but also by all of us taxpayers, citizens and neighbors." - Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher
According to Dr. John M. Gottman, a marital therapist who scientifically studied thousands of couples to determine what makes marriages succeed or fail, found that:
* Unhappy marriages can increase the chances of becoming ill by 35 percent.
* Un-happy marriages can shorten one's life by four years.
On the other hand, a healthy marriage has numerous benefits to husband, wife, children and many others, as shown in a study, "Why Marriage Matters," recently published by a team of scholars led by W.B. Wilcox of the University of Virginia and W. Doherty of the University of Minnesota.
Throughout this week, in recognition of National Marriage Week USA, we are highlighting the importance of marriage to our society and to us individually.
On Sunday, we emphasized the importance of striving to proactively prevent problems from occurring rather than waiting for things to happen and then trying to fix them.
Yesterday, one of our neighbors here in Aiken shared about their marriage.
Today, we focus on the consequences of success or failure in marriage. More testimonies and additional information on the financial impacts of marriage are still to come.
Research based on data from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, has shown that both divorce and unmarried childbearing decrease the economic well-being of both children and mothers.
For example, only 9 percent of children younger than 6 in two-parent households are poor, while 47 percent of those living in single-mother households live in poverty.
When compared to children in two-parent households, evidence reveals that children in one-parent households are affected in additional negative ways.
* Children in two-parent households are less than half as likely to have emotional or behavioral problems.
* Children in two-parent households are 44 percent less likely to be physically abused or neglected.
* Boys in two-parent households are only half as likely to commit a crime leading to incarceration by their 30s.
* Fifteen-year-old girls in two-parent homes are one-third less likely to be sexually active.
* Children in two-parent households have higher grades, higher college aspirations, better school attendance and lower school drop-out rates.
"Why Marriage Matters" highlights some of the benefits of a healthy marriage.
* Children who live with their own two married parents enjoy better physical health, on average, than children in other family forms. The health advantages of married homes remain even after taking into account socioeconomic status.
* Married men earn between 10 and 40 percent more than single men with similar education and job histories.
* Married people, especially married men, have longer life expectancies than otherwise similar singles.
* Marriage increases the likelihood fathers will have good relationships with children. Sixty-five percent of young adults whose parents divorced had poor relationships with their fathers (compared to 29 percent from non-divorced families).
* Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabiting mothers.
* Married women appear to have a lower risk of domestic violence than cohabiting or dating women. Even after controlling for race, age and education, people who live together are still three times more likely to report violent arguments than married people.
* Adults who live together but do not marry are more similar to singles than to married couples in terms of physical health and disability, emotional well-being and mental health, as well as assets and earnings. Their children more closely resemble the children of single people than the children of married people.
The above information is not meant to disparage single parents. On the contrary, we must recognize the extremely difficult task they have, provide them assistance where possible and minimize the occurrence of single-parent families.
The Family and Marriage Coalition of Aiken Inc. (FAMCO) provides resources for you to succeed in your marriage and families. Roger Rollins, executive director, FAMCO, 640-4689, rogerrollins@aikenfamco.com, www.aikenfamco.com.
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