Fuji the cat and the Bauer principle 2/7/2010 4:55 PM By GENE OWENS Columnist
I've been rethinking my relationship with Fuji since absorbing the wisdom of Andre Bauer, the lieutenant governor and gubernatorial wannabe here in the Sandlapper State.
I've also been reassessing my attitude toward the kind folks around Muscle Shoals, Ala., who have been befriending cats whose owners have dumped them or their ancestors on the Tennessee Valley Authority's reservation down there.
Fuji is the charming feline whom I have fed and sheltered from the weather since she showed up last fall begging for a hand-out from my outdoor grill. She has a glossy black coat with a white band that follows the line of her mouth and a white blaze on her chest. She showed up as I was grilling pork chops, and she gave me an appealing, low-key "meow," that said, "Kind sir, could you spare a hungry cat a morsel?"
I was too stingy to share a pork chop with her, so I went into the house and fetched her a hot dog, breaking it into bite-sized pieces. She seemed grateful. She would grab a piece and run back into the woods whence she had come. There she would gulp it down, then return for more.
It wasn't long before she didn't bother to run back into the woods. She just made herself at home on my patio and became a full-time moocher.
Down in Muscle Shoals, there seems to be a whole population of Fujis on the TVA reservation, and an ad hoc group of animal lovers have been feeding them for years.
The Tennessee Valley Authority wants the cat-lovers to knock it off. It regards the kitties as a threat to human health and warns that if they don't leave, it will evict them - by what method I shudder to guess.
The lieutenant governor of South Carolina seems to apply the same sort of logic to humans.
"You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply," he said recently. "They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that."
If the state is smart, he said, it will stop this unwanted reproduction by taking away subsidized school lunches from kids whose parents don't show up for school conferences.
That makes a whole lot of sense to me. If parents see their kids coming home hungry and malnourished, surely they'll lay down their crack pipes and cheap vodka and show up for those conferences. And they'll start practicing protected sex so they won't dump more hungry kids on society's doorstep.
Think how much money the government can save by cutting off any kind of assistance to people who don't work.
The more you pay them for not working, the more they won't work. It's the Bauer principle carried to its logical end.
Unfortunately, my heart bleeds for suffering creatures, even those who walk about on all fours. Fuji apparently recognized this.
She began sleeping in a patio chair at my kitchen door, clearly visible through the glass door. When the weather turned cool, I invited her into the house. She accepted the invitation and made a bee line for our beloved dog's food dish.
Miss Peggy, whose heart bleeds less copiously than mine, caught her clawing on a carpet and evicted her.
But the sight of Fuji waiting hungry in the cold and rain was too much for me. I began leaving the garage door cracked just enough to let her sneak in.
I began buying bags of dry cat food and cans of smelly stuff that reeked of fish. I would leave the food in dishes in the garage.
And I threw some old rags into a cardboard box, thinking she might prefer this to sleeping outdoors in a chair.
Fuji would be there waiting first thing in the morning when I brought the canned food. In the evening, I would replenish the dry food, and it would disappear overnight.
I've seen at least one other cat sneaking into the garage, and for all I know, I may be feeding possums, raccoons and skunks as well.
I know Fuji's name because one day she showed up wearing a flea collar with an address on it. She lived on a street across a patch of woods from my backyard. I walked over, and Fuji followed me.
Fuji's owner told me my adopted cat's name and said she probably liked my place because at home she got only dry food, and besides that her siblings picked on her all the time. I learned that she had 16 siblings. It seemed pointless to ask whether Fuji had been neutered.
When the temperature dropped into the teens, I took Fuji inside along with the box of rags and a box of dirt for sanitary purposes.
I locked her into our laundry room, which is heated and has ample space but nothing she could damage with her claws.
I know my neighborhood has lots of cats that don't have the social skills to beg residents for food and shelter. I can't take care of them all. But I do look after my friend Fuji.
That may make me a bad citizen, an aider and abetter of animals that won't get out and hunt for themselves.
But I sleep better knowing that Fuji is safe from the cold. I hope the cats in Muscle Shoals can find similar respite from the elements.
And if a possum or raccoon sneaks into my garage at night, that won't bother me, as long as it's out by morning. A skunk? Well, maybe, if it keeps its scent to itself.
And I hope South Carolina continues to befriend the children of irresponsible parents, regardless of whether Dad and Mom attend school conferences.
If only some genius would think of a way to punish the parents without hurting the kids.
Readers may write Gene Owens at 315 Lakeforest Circle, Anderson SC 29625 or e-mail him at WadesDixieco@AOL.com.
Gene Owens is a retired newspaper editor and columnist who was graduated from Graniteville High School and now lives in Anderson.
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