SANFORD: Righting wrongs to S.C. residents 7/19/2009 12:37 AM By GOV. MARK SANFORD
Guest columnist
I have struggled with how best to convey my regret in letting so many down, and, in that regard, I realize this op-ed does not do justice to the process of saying "I am sorry."
A handwritten note or phone call would ultimately be more appropriate, but given the number of people I need to apologize to, I write this to begin the journey of trying to get things more right with you and others.
It is true that I did wrong and failed at the largest of levels, but equally true is the fact that God can make good of our respective wrongs in life.
In this vein, while none of us has the chance to attend our own funeral, in many ways I feel like I was at my own in the past weeks, and surprisingly I am thankful for the perspective it has afforded.
If you ever have the misfortune of being at this point, whether self-induced as in my case or not, it will give you an indeed amazing perspective on life and on what really matters. I read notes from someone who worked in a sandwich shop I ate at 10 years ago, from seventh-grade classmates, from state employees and more. While there have been lifetimes of lessons learned over the past weeks, three things most immediately come to mind.
One, forgiveness and grace really do matter. I used to believe that at an intellectual level, now it is at the level of heart. Over my life I have not given enough of either, and yet given all the ways in which my failings have come to light, I write to apologize for, in the most profound of ways, letting you and so many others down.
In life it's always the people closest to us that we hurt the most, and, given my standing of public trust, I know I've hurt many across our state. I apologize for this and more than anything would ask for your forgiveness going forward.
Two, life is indeed about way more than public standing or political views, it's about recognizing that none of us are the arbiters of truth, that there are moral absolutes and that there is a God to whom we will all report for our actions.
My failure has been most glaring on this front, where no public apology can make wrong right. As a consequence, it is on this plane that I've grown the most over the past weeks - and where I'm committed to growing the most going forward.
I've been humbled and broken as never before in my life and, as a consequence, have given up areas of control in a way that I never have before - and it is my belief that this will make me a better father, husband, friend and advocate.
It's in the spirit of making good from bad that I am committing to you and the larger family of South Carolinians to use this experience to both trust God in his larger work of changing me, and from my end, to work to becoming a better and more effective leader.
In this regard I think all that has transpired will be particularly relevant in the way I deal with the legislative body and other state leaders going forward.
Micah 6:8 asks us to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly, and as I begin these steps into the last 18 months of this administration, it will indeed be with a more contrite and humble spirit.
I've realized that as much as I have and will continue to advocate for things ranging from restructuring to responsible spending to school choice, my approach needs to be less about my will and more about looking for ways to more humbly present the greater principals and ideas at play.
It needs to be less strident and more about finding ways to work with legislative leaders to advance the ideas so many of us believe in. It means less time fighting the tide - and a greater awareness of the fact that God controls it.
In working with a few alterations to my approach, I think this could be a far more productive last session than the one that would have been had the tragedy that has unfolded not occurred, and in turn, people's lives can be made better.
Finally it is at your funeral that you in many ways not only can see most clearly the things that really matter in life, but where one gets the best glimpse of who your real friends are - and how much they matter.
For that reason, I want to thank so many for their kindnesses and support over the years and for their kindness in this latest chapter in our book together as South Carolinians.
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Comment Title:
Rumor has it that Nikki Haley, Sanford's "political soul mate", can't remember if she flew FIRST CLASS or economy on her trip to China with Sanford and pals. You know that really hard to believe as I can remember when and how I flew on my trips. Sounds like another liar running for the big office in Columbia.
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Posted by: On: Tuesday, July 21, 2009 3:05 PM
Comment Title: Mista ChaChinger welcome back
You were truly missed. Yes RYBERG has been very very quiet of late!! Have you read the Ecstrom and Young "opinions" in this wonderful newspaper?
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Posted by: Mista ChaChinger On: Tuesday, July 21, 2009 2:54 PM
Comment Title:
it never ends, the "Guv-Nah" of Coosaw luvs to invoke the bible at every turn, trying to thump-thump-thump the "base" into falling back into line...ole RYBERG sure has been lying low in all of this
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Posted by: On: Tuesday, July 21, 2009 11:31 AM
Comment Title: And on a funny little side note.........
more humbly present the greater "principals" and ideas at play. I think you meant to say "principles". Perhaps you should have 'chosen' your school more carefully!
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Posted by: On: Tuesday, July 21, 2009 7:34 AM
Comment Title:
If I abandoned my post, I would be fired. This is not about your infidelities to your family. By the way, I haven't been able to take my child on vacation, why should I pay for yours?
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Posted by: Waterloo is where coalition forces defeated the French Emperor. On: Monday, July 20, 2009 10:05 AM
Comment Title:
Yeah DeMint keep telling those good christians at the evangelical World Magazine how you and your group are going to try to put and end to anything good that the President wishes for the American people. Tell those Evangelicals that its more important that the GREED of the healthcare industry should continue to flourish and that millions of people who have to do without healthcare are simply "collateral damage" and are "expendable". Who gives a damn about those people huh DeMint? The audacity of the President to wish for a decent healthcare program which could help millions and millions of people at the expense of curtailing the continuous quest for private corporations to make more money and even greater profits. How dare someone think about the good of the people. It's all about GREED and attempting to undermine our Government isn't DeMint?
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Posted by: On: Monday, July 20, 2009 9:43 AM
Comment Title:
Well lil jimmie duhmint is at it again. As always he is not speaking out for the people of South Carolina, but pushing his OWN AGENDA regarding healthcare reform. His latest stupid remark to quote him, "If we're able to stop Obama on this it will be his Waterloo. It will break him." My this is really working for us and with the president. This idiot keeps talking, but NEVER, NEVER comes up with a solution. Time to get rid of this clown.
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Posted by: Bruce On: Monday, July 20, 2009 7:32 AM
Comment Title:
Why not join him Cauthers.
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Posted by: On: Monday, July 20, 2009 6:24 AM
Comment Title: Russ Ferrara for State Senator
We heard that Russ Ferrara is planning to run for the State Senate against Greg Ryberg. Is there any truth to that rumor?
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Posted by: On: Monday, July 20, 2009 12:35 AM
Comment Title:
Sanford quoting the Bible.....now there is something for the other hypocrites like him to find solace in.
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Posted by: On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 9:04 PM
Comment Title:
It's unfortunate that Sanford and his pals never took a clue from President Obama. Right or wrong whatever your thoughts may be about the President my God at least he is fighting and working for us. He has extended his hand across the aisle regarding healthcare and he is determined to get something done. This, I truly believe is political courage at it's finest. My hat off to you Mr. President. Keep it up.
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Posted by: Cauthers, B. On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 8:40 PM
Comment Title:
You, Bruce are a viled mouthed sicko to write a statement like that slamming the Sanford children. Shame on you!
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Posted by: Bruce On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:44 PM
Comment Title:
Eat a fat one Sanford!! And do the only thing you can do to make up for your stupidity to the state and your family, hang a strap over the shower rod and take yourself out. You are at this point better off dead than alive, and I am sure your suicide would be a relief to your wife and kids.
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Posted by: On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:36 PM
Comment Title:
I am really relieved that God is going to make Mark better! This should make all the people of South Carolina happy as well. Hmmm that means lower taxes, better schools, better roads, the best paying jobs in the country, republicans loving the democrats and no more budget deficits. Mark you are fantastic! Why the change? Oh I forgot you got caught with your pants down in Buenos Aires.
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Posted by: On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:06 PM
Comment Title:
Ryberg will never learn as he is an old carbon copy of Sanford. This pitiful excuse of a state senator should be voted out of office. We need fresh ideas and someone who will represent the people of Aiken. Ryberg do yourself and the people of Aiken a favor don't seek re-election. Just go away.
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Posted by: On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:01 PM
Comment Title: Pure Poppy Cock
This individual, I can not use the term "man" is a complete phony. The only agenda he has is himself, as he forgets that he was elected to represent and work for the people of South Carolina, not promote his political philosophies. He has penalized our educational system, has not worked to create jobs or create a base for business, yet he takes "trips" to foreign countries and not once has he come home with a commitment from any foreign company to build in the state. His last two ventures to South America he conveniently made "side trips" to see his "soul mate" in Buenos Aires complements of the taxpayers. If this liar had any courage he would resign, but no he is hiding and still lying to the good people of South Carolina. Does he really think we are stupid?
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Posted by: Not All Who Wander Are Lost On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 1:30 PM
Comment Title:
God can't help you do anything Gov that you aren't willing commit to yourself. And I think your wife has some say if she wants to be the wife of a man who publicly declared to millions that included your wife and your sons that your soul-mate isn't the mother of your kids. I actually question her ability to reason for even thinking of trying to reconcile with you, because 95% of women would not. A man of any integrity and honor would grant a divorce to your wife so she could find her soul-mate and a responsible step-father for your sons - since it certainly isn't you.
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Posted by: professor of life On: Sunday, July 19, 2009 7:47 AM
Comment Title: Finally
Sanford writes, "my approach needs to be less about my will and more about looking for ways to more humbly present the greater principals and ideas at play. It needs to be less strident and more about finding ways to work with legislative leaders to advance the ideas so many of us believe in. It means less time fighting the tide" Leadership 101....after a personal crisis and 6 years, he figures it out. What testimony to being an elected official vs. a educated man, Ryberg needs to learn this too
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